The Lonely Doll

July 1, 2018
Subheader: 

Every doll is lonely...

You can read all kinds of adult themes into this if you want to, but it's clear that the author did not intend them. This is just a children's book that is no longer in context. I can't ignore the creepiness, but walking through a dark hallway is creepy. But there's nothing inherently creepy about a dark hallway. It's just your own imagination that makes it that way.

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Message: 

Parents still love you, even when they get mad.

Things to Do with Dad

June 29, 2018
Subheader: 

No doubt more child-appropriate than "101 Uses for a Dead Cat".

My brain doesn't know how to interpret this book, so I suppose you can make of it what you will. But I prefer my children's books to be a little less up to interpretation, because unfortunately my brain has a tendency to go in directions that are probably not intended.

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Message: 

Stop slacking and play with your kids more.

The Wolf, the Duck, and the Mouse

June 23, 2018
Subheader: 

What? Just... what? This-- I can't even-- Wow.

I think the message that people are getting from it, at least from the first half of the book, is "Don't let your misfortunes get you down." The back of the book has this quote: "'I may have been swallowed,' said the duck, 'but I have no intention of being eaten.'" But if that was the real message, then they absolutely would not want to stay in the stomach of the wolf at the end. The most accurate message I can get from the book is: "People in bad situations become so acclimated to them that it doesn't seem bad to them anymore." They actually start to like it, as in Stockholm Syndrome.

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Message: 

The life of a parasite is awesome?

The Hole Book

June 21, 2018
Subheader: 

Gun safety? What gun safety?

The more I think about this book and the more I learn about it, the worse it gets. On the other hand, I could see an updated version of this book becoming mildly popular. Maybe someone bounces a bouncy ball and it keeps going? It doesn't need to be a gun.

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Message: 

Don't worry about guns; they won't hurt you.

Josephine Wants to Dance

June 19, 2018
Subheader: 

Kangaroo power!

Sometimes people do things you don't expect them to do. Sometimes people don't fit into your neat little molds, and that's okay. The world is better for it. The world is enriched by people who don't fit into molds, and that's something I've always appreciated, so that's why I like this book.

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Message: 

If you know you can do something, don't listen to people telling you that you can't.

The Berenstain Bears' Valentine Party

June 17, 2018
Subheader: 

It's not even a party. It's just a school day.

The best part: On the second page, inside Sister Bear's backpack, is a Valentine that says "My", a symbol of a heart, then a picture of a pair of pants, and then "4 You." Is that "My heart pants for you?" Who says that? That's just bizarre. "My heart shorts for you?" "...jeans for you?" None of those make any sense. It's next to one that's got a picture of a bee and then says "mine" underneath, obviously "Be mine." That's pretty common. Maybe just "My pants for you?" A bit direct for grade school, don't you think?

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Message: 

Valentines are cool?

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