Adventures in Ancient China

October 17, 2016
Subheader: 

Ancient China is a terrible place.

It's kind of like the adventure is thrown in for the sake of adventure. There's no character development, there's no real interesting story line, it's just them fleeing constantly.

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Message: 

Ancient China is interesting. Or, don't open magic books.

Amelia Bedelia

October 17, 2016
Subheader: 

A bunch of jokes that aren't very funny.

I don't think kids would think of “trimming” as putting ribbons and stuff on something, like you trim a dress, I guess? Maybe it's just dated.

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Message: 

Be specific. Or, if you make good pie, people will forgive anything else.

Who Will I Be, Lord?

October 16, 2016
Subheader: 

Realistic yet enforces gender and class stereotypes.

Everybody's really lower class. Maybe that's good, because I guess there really isn't that much mixing of lower and upper class, so it's more realistic that way?

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Message: 

You can be anyone you want to be.

America: A Patriotic Primer

October 15, 2016
Subheader: 

Jingoistic nonsense.

It's not going to teach anybody the alphabet, and it's not really interesting. I mean, the things it talks about are important, but there is just so much text crammed onto every page in little, tiny locations.

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Message: 

America is the best. America is awesome.

The Cabbage Princess

October 15, 2016
Subheader: 

Prance, prance, I'm the Lord of the Forest!

Maybe the king needs to be taught a lesson, but The Lord of the Forest just gets to do whatever he wants because he's magical.

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Message: 

Don't be a jerk or you might turn your daughter into a cabbage.

17 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do Anymore

October 15, 2016
Subheader: 

Pretending random things children do are planned.

It's a little bit humorous to see it set off as if she had considered the implications ahead of time and came to that decision, but it doesn't work as well as the followup book, 11 Experiments That Failed.

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Message: 

None.

Seven Simeons: A Russian Tale

October 14, 2016
Subheader: 

Too-long Russian fable about the handsome guy getting the girl.

I guess it's saved from being a bad book to read to kids by virtue of not really being a book to read to kids.

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Message: 

If you're good looking, you can get away with anything. Or, women are property.

Arnie the Doughnut

October 13, 2016
Subheader: 

Intelligent doughnuts and the implications thereof.

I don't think it would upset children. I don't think children would understand the implications of this. Maybe I'm just weird-- no. No. The book is definitely weird. It's not me.

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Message: 

None. It defies morals.

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