meh

I'll Teach My Dog 100 Words

Posted Oct 16 2017 - 12:07pm
Subheader: 

Poetic primer.

It's just a list of words. It's a rhyming list of words, so maybe that's a little bit entertaining. But there's nothing to it. There's no story. The rhyming is the only thing that could possibly keep your attention in this. It's decent rhyming, and decent meter, so what it's trying to do it does well, but in my opinion it's not trying to do enough, and comes off as disappointing.

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Message: 

None.

The Train to Timbuctoo

Posted Sep 27 2017 - 12:42pm
Subheader: 

Oddly, there are several cities named Kalamazoo and at least 2 in the US named Timbuctoo.

I think I would perform violence on somebody, possibly myself, if I was required to read this on a regular basis, especially out loud. I'm getting real sick of people telling me children learn by repetition. I have ceased to care.

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Message: 

None.

My Mother is the Most Beautiful Woman in the World

Posted Sep 29 2017 - 12:00pm
Subheader: 

In Soviet Ukraine, your mother is beautiful to you!

It's a really sweet message, but to get there they had to jump through so many hoops and pad the book with so many unrelated things like baking cakes and dances and accordion music. The story just meanders before it gets there. It's not a bad story; it just doesn't go anywhere.

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Message: 

We don't love people because they're beautiful; people are beautiful because we love them.

In My Mother's House

Posted Oct 2 2017 - 12:02pm
Subheader: 

One little, two little, three little, poems by Native Americans...

It's kind of boring and really wordy for a little kid. It's interesting from an anthropological standpoint, but it's not gripping enough for a young child.

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Message: 

There is an interesting story behind being a Native American child.

Mrs. Chicken and the Hungry Crocodile

Posted Oct 1 2017 - 12:06pm
Subheader: 

According to evolution, Mrs. Chicken is actually kind of right.

Why do stories where the clever person wins always seem to end up with the clever person lying, and the other person being phenomenally stupid?? Why does a trickster have to completely, full-on, lie? There's nothing clever about lying to an idiot.

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Message: 

Crocodiles are idiots.

The Hello, Goodbye Window

Posted Oct 3 2017 - 12:07pm
Subheader: 

I don't know why you say goodbye window, I say hello window.

There's no real story, just a series of events that happen when she visits her grandparents. It's kind of boring. I'm really not sure how something this banal came from the same author as The Phantom Tollbooth and The Dot and the Line, both fascinatingly weird stories.

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Message: 

It's fun to hang out with your grandparents.

This is Not My Hat

Posted Sep 30 2017 - 12:06pm
Subheader: 

Seriously, Mr. Klassen, what is it with the hats?

The main character is a jerk, and the main character gets karma. Maybe children like this kind of sociopathic protagonist and the ensuing comeuppance.

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Message: 

It's wrong to steal a hat.

Play With Me

Posted Sep 28 2017 - 12:17pm
Subheader: 

Don't touch that chipmunk. You don't know where it's been.

On the last page, she is sitting on the edge of a pond, surrounded by animals that are just chilling with her. It's kind of weird and looks disturbing, because she's maybe 6 or 8 years old, without supervision, next to a snake... Who knows what other creatures could be lurking in the bushes other than that fawn? Bears? Foxes? Something dangerous could be out there.

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Message: 

Sit still and be quiet, and forest creatures will approach you.

Guess How Much I Love You

Posted Jun 28 2017 - 11:08pm
Subheader: 

I love you more! No, I love you more!

It's kind of nice in that it's the story of a male authority figure performing the typically "motherly" task of putting a child to sleep. And this is very easily relatable, with nothing explicitly saying that Big is Little's father, or grandfather, or uncle, or anything specific. But because it's so generic, there's not much to it. Basically, the kid keeps telling the adult, "I love you this much," and the adult keeps responding, "Well, I love you this much," and it's always more.

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Message: 

Families love each other.

The Judge: An Untrue Tale

Posted Apr 30 2017 - 2:36pm
Subheader: 

Liar, liar, pants... er... have been devoured...

It seems to be trying to say that the world is just and that the truth will win out in the end, but its real message boils down to: Authority figures are unreasonable and won't believe you.

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Message: 

Nobody listens to you, even if you're telling the truth.

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