meh

Hop on Pop

September 11, 2018
Subheader: 

Snore on bore.

This is basically one of those word list books. Apparently Dr. Seuss wrote them, too. It's kind of on the same lines as "I'll Teach My Dog 100 Words" except Seuss's word list rhymes, which is about the only way you can get through one of these without falling asleep.

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Message: 

These are words you should learn.

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

September 9, 2018
Subheader: 

Pointless with a chance of confusion.

I know, I know, I'm reading far too much into this. But all of this crossed my mind literally within 10 minutes of reading the book. It makes no sense, and it's unclear if it's supposed to. What is the point of this book? Where is it going with this meandering story? What is it trying to say? I have no idea. It basically just says, "Once upon a time, there was this place where food fell from the sky, and then all the people left." Why did you even bother telling the story?

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Message: 

It's a good thing food doesn't fall from the sky.

Go, Dog, Go!

September 7, 2018
Subheader: 

Why, Dog, Why?

It's boring and it doesn't go anywhere. I would like to say, as I have in other reviews of similar books, that children will learn language without it being explicitly taught to them, as long as they are around other people who speak it. They do not need to be explicitly taught a list of prepositions like they're vocabulary words. Children don't need this book.

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Message: 

Here are a bunch of words and dogs.

Corduroy

September 3, 2018
Subheader: 

This must be a book! I think I've always wanted to review a book.

There's not much to it. There's no conflict. There's no character development. It's pretty basic. It's just like a fantasy of what a toy bear might do if he realized that he'd lost a button.

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Message: 

It feels good to be loved.

Tell Me About Sex, Grandma

September 1, 2018
Subheader: 

A case of style over substance.

This book barely skims the surface of the topic, but it skims it well. But it's not enough to answer the larger, underlying question of what sex actually is. It's incomplete, and it reads more like a meditation on the process of talking to children about sex than an actual instructive book. I would love to see a thorough, detailed book about sex written in this style. It drew me in through its conversational tone, but left me wanting something more substantial. The artwork is great, as well.

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Message: 

Sex is wonderful, but it's personal, and it's something that everybody involved has to agree to.

Super Duper Safety School: Safety Rules For Kids & Grown-Ups!

August 30, 2018
Subheader: 

Super duper disappointment.

I totally understand what she's trying to say, and it's an incredibly important message, but the writing and the illustrations are so bad that I just can't get past them. It's really disappointing, because I think a book would be very helpful in explaining this to my kids. But this is not that book, at least not for me. Maybe I need to write my own.

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Message: 

Watch out for tricky people because they are thumbs-down.

Why Mosquitoes Buzz in People's Ears

August 26, 2018
Subheader: 

Because pythons are paranoid and iguanas are grumpy.

Maybe the book is trying to say, "Don't tell lies," but the message that comes out is that people will blame you for things that are clearly not your fault. While this is a true message, it's not necessarily an ideal one.

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Message: 

People will blame you for things that are clearly not your fault.

The Incredible Ordinary Hero: or, The Brave Bystander

August 16, 2018
Subheader: 

I'm not sure the author knows what "bystander" means.

It's not much of a story. There's no real conflict or anything. I think it's important to teach your children how to deal with burns, but maybe it's also important to teach them fire safety in addition. But the most useful part of this book is those two pages which are about what to do (and what not to do) when someone gets burned.

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Message: 

Anybody can help others, and this is how to deal with minor burns.

Hank and Stella in: Something from Nothing

August 18, 2018
Subheader: 

Could be a bigger something from nothing.

It's a solid book, but I wasn't grabbed by the story. It's definitely well written. It's written in rhyme, and the meter and rhymes are very solid, but the story is somewhat contrived. The artwork is not stylistically amazing, but it's good enough not to be distracting, and the art style fits well with the story that's going on.

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Message: 

Here's how to do improvisation while you play.

Where Did I Come From?

August 12, 2018
Subheader: 

California. You came from California.

It's not a bad book. I don't think there's any misinformation in here, but it definitely could be improved upon. I'm searching for a book to give to my children when they get old enough (the time is fast approaching) and think I'm going to keep looking.

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Message: 

Babies are born when mommies and daddies make love and sperm find eggs.

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