The Bear Scouts


Don't go camping with idiots.

Written in rhyme. One of the older Berenstain Bears books before they really settled on their artistic style, when Mama and Papa Bear had really weird, long noses. I think it's before Sister Bear was born. Brother and his Bear Scout troop are going camping. They have a guidebook so they know what to do, but Papa Bear insists on coming along and is a complete idiot. He is extremely arrogant and keeps claiming that he knows what to do when he doesn't, and fails at everything. Apparently he was never a Bear Scout when he was a kid. He gets very badly hurt and comes home, and then the Bear Scouts say, "At least he showed us what not to do. Ha ha ha ha ha ha." The end. I don't even know what the message is. "Papa Bear is an idiot," maybe.

The best part: "I'll put in some eggs/And fresh green weeds./Some toadstools. Then/Some roots and leaves./And presto, chango,/Ala kazoo.../That's how I make/My favorite stew." And it just tastes bad, instead of getting him high or poisoning him to death.


Don't take advice from the inexperienced.

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