All pets are equal, but some are more equal than others.

If I didn't know better, I would think they were intending to write something about the "entitlement generation." Because, seriously, that's what this turns out to be. "I can't decide who is the best! Everybody gets a prize!"


You can never have too many pets. All pets are awesome.

The train to snoozeville.

Their friends would as bored hearing the story as I was reading it. Their friends wouldn't care.


Trains are cool.

Skateboarding safety gear is radical.

How big is Bear Country, anyway? They took a fricking road trip around it in another book, complete with their own version of Mount Rushmore and Niagara Falls, and now they've got the Official Skate Park in somebody's cow pasture.


Wear your safety gear.

A book about nothing, nothing, and also nothing.

This would be more interesting than a list of bullet points than a book.



An unrealistic depiction of the work of a paleontologist.

If you did find that kind of thing, you certainly wouldn't let an entire family traipse through the middle of your dig!


Dinosaurs are cool.

Nerdy things aren't fun.

Papa Bear, to his credit, realizes that he's done something wrong before it's pointed out to him by Sister Bear, so he's able to take her criticism well.


Nobody cares about spelling.

At least the kids won't understand the implications.

Seriously, I never really thought about the universe of Thomas the Tank Engine until I read this book.


Stay away from mines?