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The Berenstain Bears' Really Big Pet Show

September 23, 2016

All pets are equal, but some are more equal than others.

If I didn't know better, I would think they were intending to write something about the "entitlement generation." Because, seriously, that's what this turns out to be. "I can't decide who is the best! Everybody gets a prize!"

Message

You can never have too many pets. All pets are awesome.

The Berenstain Bears' Computer Trouble

September 23, 2016

Gosh darn these newfangled machines and their social networkings.

I feel really discriminated against as a computer nerd.

Message

The Internet is bad.

Gerald McBoing Boing

September 23, 2016

Good message, poor execution.

I want to like this book, because it has a good message, but I can't get past the way the parents implicitly treat Gerald.

Message

Everybody can have a place that they fit. Something which seems like a flaw at first can be a strength when viewed from the right angle.

The Little Red Caboose

September 23, 2016

Respect cabooses. Or something.

All the kids wave at the train, except not the caboose because they're bored by then. And I can't blame them.

Message

People only like you if you are useful. Or, eventually you'll get thanked for the hard work you do.

The Berenstain Bears at the Aquarium

September 23, 2016

More boring than a real aquarium.

These kids are just a frigging pain. They just will not shut up about the stupid dolphins and whale.

Message

The only interesting things that live underwater are dolphins and whales.

The Berenstain Bears' New Kitten

September 23, 2016

You can never have too many pets.

Kids probably shouldn't just randomly take home animals that they find in a pond, whether or not they're kittens. They might have rabies, or something worse.

Message

Kittens make good pets.

The Berenstain Bears Go Out to Eat

September 23, 2016

Skip this one and stay home.

It kind of sucks that Mama still has to be in charge of a lot of things even though it's supposed to be her night off.

Message

Give your mom a break every once in a while.

Otis's Busy Day

September 23, 2016

Boring book about a weird tractor.

I guess it's good for kids who like tractors. It's really basic, which makes it easy to read to a small child.

Message

None.

Superman Classic: Pranking News

September 23, 2016

Pointless story with wasted potential.

You would think that they could come up with some kind of message, but it's not even trying for a message. Maybe that's good.

Message

None.