Stan Berenstain

Dogs sure do love bones, amiright?

And even if they were real bones, dogs don't just like love bones. In the same way that mice just don't love cheese. This is just inane. There's no real message. There's no real point.



Papa Bear fails at riding a bicycle.

Another stupid old Berenstain Bears book where Papa tries to teach Small Bear how to ride a bike and keeps not listening to his own advice and getting maimed and mangled in various ways, and Small Bear just thanks him for showing him what not to do.


Be careful when you ride bikes.

Don't do this to your kids.

What?! This isn't... bad... it's just stupid. So there's a realistic problem, and a stupid resolution to it. It's not harmful, but it's not helpful.


Babies take a lot of attention.

Papa Bear fails at being a detective.

Wow, that's a terribly useful book. Papa Bear has a dog, for crying out loud, that he seems to be trying to get to sniff the trail. So they are literally following their noses at the beginning and that doesn't lead to the answer.



Boring book literally about bears being on wheels.

A lot less interesting than it sounds. Very simple. Nothing happens. There's no story.


Teaches numbers. Counting, perhaps.

Papa Bear fails at being entertaining.

This is Papa Bear being an idiot again. It's really not that interesting to watch Papa Bear fail repeatedly.


Picnics are terrible.

Don't go camping with idiots.

He gets very badly hurt and comes home, and then the Bear Scouts say, "At least he showed us what not to do. Ha ha ha ha ha ha." The end. I don't even know what the message is. "Papa Bear is an idiot," maybe.


Don't take advice from the inexperienced.

Papa Bear is a hypocrite.

There's a "Do as I say, not as I do" thing happening here. It's not bad. It still definitely teaches good rules for the beach.


Be careful when you're at the beach.

Papa Bear fails in the snow.

Another inane older Berenstain Bear book where Papa tries to teach Small Bear things and just fails miserably at everything.


Be careful in the winter.

Unrealistic story, unrealistic expectations.

What. This makes no sense. Nobody acts like this. This is ridiculous. They're trying to get a message across, but they're doing it by depicting an unrealistic scenario.


Be nice to your loved ones.