meh

The Berenstain Bears' New Pup

October 2, 2016
Subheader: 

Useless and brief story.

Basically just the first day of dog ownership, and you know those kids are going to start slacking off and avoiding their dog-related chores the same way they avoid all their other chores.

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Message: 

Puppies are a lot of work.

The Wild Birthday Cake

October 19, 2016
Subheader: 

Not as interesting as it sounds.

Takes a long time to get to its point. The point is weird. It's not a bad message; it's just a weird message.

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Message: 

Only special people can keep wild animals as pets.

Seven Simeons: A Russian Tale

October 14, 2016
Subheader: 

Too-long Russian fable about the handsome guy getting the girl.

I guess it's saved from being a bad book to read to kids by virtue of not really being a book to read to kids.

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Message: 

If you're good looking, you can get away with anything. Or, women are property.

Tap Tap Boom Boom

September 25, 2016
Subheader: 

Forced, annoying rhymes and not much of a story.

Perhaps the diction is intentionally childlike? But no, then they wouldn't have used the word “congregate.”

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Message: 

None. Just descriptive.

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